Six Month Nashville Update

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
- Deuteronomy 31:6

This month marks 6 months since my move to Nashville.  In one way these 6 months have seemed like a whirlwind; but in another way it seems like I’ve been gone from Morristown forever.  My new life in Nashville is everything I ever imagined, but never thought possible – dream job at the Executive Committee of the Southern Baptist Convention, amazing coworkers, terrific church that I was immediately able to jump in and get involved, a “real life” position at the SBC annual meetings, a wonderful place to live – I am just in awe of God’s amazing orchestration of this journey so far.   I find myself shaking my head at points in just utter disbelief that this is my life.  If I could hashtag different experiences I’ve had since I have been in Nashville it would look like this - #IsThisMyLife?!??!?!??! 

With all these great things that have happened over the past 6 months, it’s crazy to think about my frame of mind 7 months ago.  While many of you did see me 7 months ago (December 2014), you probably didn’t realize that I was in one of the toughest mental battles I’ve ever gone through.  My level of courage was in the negative percentage, I had no confidence in myself whatsoever, the realization of leaving my friends and family was more real that it had ever been before, and I was an emotional mess.  I had been literally handed this amazing opportunity without even asking for it and here I was undergoing a complete and total meltdown.  It was ridiculous and the devil was having a field day with me.  In my heart I knew that this was the right path for me; God’s hand was in so many of the intricate details of this story that it was evident this was His plan for me.  However, my head logic was begging…literally screaming at me…to stay in the confines of my comfort zone, which I must admit did look appealing.  My dream had finally become reality and was staring me straight in the face…but I was entirely petrified to step outside of my comfortable life and enter into a new one.

I am not a “fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants” kind of girl.  I’m not a risk-taker, you won’t find me on a rollercoaster, and I hate the unknown.  Accepting this new life involved all of the above and I honestly didn’t know whether to say yes or no.  That sounds so silly now because of course the answer was “yes” – it was a question I had always wanted to be asked.  Why would you say “no” to a question you’d always dreamed of hearing?!  Nonetheless – I was faced with this decision and needed to find the courage and confidence in myself to make it, regardless of the answer.  So what did I do?  I prayed like I have never prayed before, sought Scripture that I felt God had written with me in mind, and talked with my family and close friends to get their guidance and advice. 

Holley Gerth is my absolute favorite Christian author because she writes as if she personally knows the readers and what they are going through.  While I had started her book, “You’re Made for a God-Sized Dream” before this whole job thing came about; I ended up finishing the book during the time I needed to make this decision.  God knew I needed to hear what Holley wrote and that’s why I believe he had me wait to finish the book until this time.  I want to focus on a few of her topics, as it relates to this situation, in further blog posts, but for now let me share a short passage that spoke volumes to me.  She writes…

“The God of the universe has chosen you as his ambassador, his partner, his way of sharing his light with the world.  You may not feel qualified.  You may not feel ready.  You may not think you can do what he asks.  Listen my friend: you are all you need to be to do all he’s called you to do.  ‘It’s not about you’ can be hard words to hear, but in this context they can also bring a profound sense of relief.  You do not have to be superwoman to make God’s plans happen in your life.  Because it’s ultimately about him, and your role is simply to let his light flow through you.  You’re the vessel – He’s the source.”

“Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid or terrified, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave nor forsake you.”  When Moses spoke these words to the people of Israel in Deuteronomy 31:6, he was telling them this because they would be going into uncharted territory without him.  They were heading into an unknown future away from their home and the one who had helped them through the tough times before (Egyptian captivity, wandering in the wilderness, etc.) wasn’t coming with them.  They were far out of their comfort zone and had to be scurrred (that’s East TN talk for “scared”).  In fact, both Moses and God had to remind the people of Israel and the new leader, Joshua, more than once to be strong and have courage.  The Israelites obeyed and because they were willing to step out of their comfort zone, they eventually enter the Promised Land…a place that the Jewish people still live to this very day.  I identify so perfectly with this story – Nashville isn’t necessarily the Promised Land (ha ha), but it’s the uncharted territory to where God has led me and I know that He is going to use me in extraordinary ways for His purpose and glory.  There are definitely points of time where I get scurred and homesick, but it’s then that I hear God speak Deuteronomy 31:6 to my heart and His strength and courage begin to fill my heart to keep on keeping on.

Holley was right.  There are times I don’t feel qualified.  Situations come up where I don’t feel ready.  Sometimes I still don’t think I can do all that He asks. But my comfort zone isn’t where God wants me.  He created me to be a light for Him and, like Jesus said, “no one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket” (Matthew 5:14).  His light, through my life, has to shine and Nashville is where He has guided me to light up the sky.  

Father - continue to give me courage, stay by my side, draw me closer to the Throne, and let me shine so that those I interact with through where I live, work, and serve can see YOU through me.