Love Hurts

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. – 1 Corinthians 13:7

The title of this blog post may seem quite unusual considering today is Valentine’s Day.  We mainly celebrate this holiday by centering on happiness and lovey-dovey gifts and gestures.  However, there’s another side to love that I want to touch on…a side that seems hard to deal with on the surface, but actually says a lot about how we love.  In fact, the purpose behind this Valentine’s Day post is in connection with a statement my pastor, Mike Glenn, made last Sunday.  It is a statement that is a bit strange, yet is absolutely true.  He said, “Love hurts.  If you’re going to follow Christ and love a world that can’t [and I, Allison, want to add in here, might not] love you back, it’s going to hurt.” 

If love is going to get to a place where it can hurt, it’s because we have given so much of ourselves to that person/place/thing.  Although it sounds hypocritical to think about something hurting us as we approach Valentine’s Day, getting to a place where love hurts actually says a lot about our walk with Christ as it shows how we have poured our life into something or someone so much so that we are willing to open ourselves up to potential hurt that might happen.  Paul talked about this in 1 Corinthians 13:7 when he said that love “endures through every circumstance.”  Every circumstance most definitely includes hurt. Maybe someone you love disappointed you, maybe someone you cared deeply for passed away, maybe you lost a job that you poured your life into, maybe you were rejected for speaking the truth into a friend or loved one’s life – whatever happened, something or someone you loved hurt your heart.  It doesn’t take the love for them away, but it still does hurt…and probably very deeply.

Jesus understands, more than anyone past, present, or future that love hurts.  The greatest example of this is seen as we read about how He sacrificed His life by dying on a cross for all of humanity’s sins. 1 John 3:16 says that “We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us.”  Notice those words, “…Jesus gave…” these words show us the incomparable character Jesus exhibited as He willingly gave his life for us just because He loves us.  Love hurt Jesus that day.  Another example is seen a few days prior to the crucifixion, as Jesus was riding into Jerusalem following His triumphal entry.  Luke 19:41 tells us, “But as he came closer to Jerusalem and saw the city ahead, he began to weep.”  Jesus cried for Jerusalem because He knew what the future held for them (and it wasn’t a good future, if you catch my drift).  He had such a deep love for the people He had taught, healed, and ministered to and hated that they were going to have to go through hardship.  Love hurt Jesus that day.

Giving your love to someone or something else is a very vulnerable action.  You are opening yourself up to whatever the other contributor gives back.  It could be a blessing or it could be a hurt.  It could be something you anticipate might happen or it could just blindside you like a tackling football player (sports fans be proud of me for using this analogy).  It could mean accepting forgiveness from the other party or it could mean that you may be ignored by them for the foreseeable future.  There’s always the risk…but the risk of loving and being open to the possibility that the love might hurt you is one that we should all be willing to take. 

Should we get to a place where we should avoid loving something or someone because we don’t want to be potentially hurt by them or even regret that we ever loved them in the first place?  No.  In fact, that’s not very Christ-like.  Look at Jesus; He keeps loving us even though we still hurt Him by sinning.  

Real love may get to a place where it is going to hurt; but getting to that place means that we have invested ourselves, our time, our prayers, and our service to them – something that Jesus has commanded we do (Mark 12:31 - “love your neighbor”; Matthew 5:44 – “love your enemies…pray for those who mistreat you”; Mark 9:35 – “become a servant of all”). 

Missionary Amy Carmichael is quoted as saying, “You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving.”  As a missionary to India, she most likely experienced the hurt of love.  You don’t spend 53 years as a missionary and not give yourself to a people and location, that more than likely (especially the first few years) didn’t love her back.  She knew full well that what it meant to love ”through every circumstance.”  But, like Paul urges, she never gave up, never lost faith, and remained always hopeful.  What an encouragement and example to us all of truly loving “through every circumstance”…even the circumstance of hurt.

Quote: Amy Carmichael; original designer unknown